Saturday, April 12, 2008

Fantasy Player's Edge

April 12, 2008


Roster Shuffle:

I suspected that Gardenhire (Twinman) read
the Player's Edge as he's heeded the call to recall
Liriano. Franny will certainly be immortalized someday,
known far and wide as Franny the Uncanny. That's
how legends are made and you heard it here first.
C'mon write it down. Do it. The suave sidewinder
starts on Sunday, exactly 19 months to the day
from his last appearance, against the Royals.

Sound the trumpets!!!!!!!!!! All hail the next coming
of Ryan Braun. The Evan Longoria era starts today.
Evan Almighty was called up from Durham to man
the Keystone Corner for the Rays for the next decade
or so. He's a stud and patient owners are about to be
rewarded.

First J-Roll, now J-Rey can Han-Ram be far behind?
Reyes came up lame yesterday joining Rollins, who
has missed 3 in a row, in the exclusive 1st round
infirmary. Neither sparkplug is headed for the DL
but have their respective owners scrambling for
spot plays. Take a look at Cristian Guzman (see
below).

Moylan or Acosta, Acosta or Moylan? Yesterday it
was down under Pete. The prevailing rhetoric is that
Acosta is still in the mix.

Francisco Rodriguez is ready to resume as the Halo's
closer. Drop whatever piece of the committee you own.

Roy Oswalt start is not as enigmatic as it might appear.
His k's have fallen while his era/whip have risen over
the past 3 years. His whip last year 1.33 is of particular
concern although it was coupled with an era of 3.18.
Sit him in Rotisserie formats until he rights the ship.
No sense in trying to trade him at this valuation.

Why are you holding on to Jacoby Ellsbury or Matt
Kemp? I know what you're thinking, upside galore,
but that's not what Francona or Torre are thinking.
Both players seem to be on the short end of a platoon.

Swisher has a sore hip. This guy will epitomize the
word disappointment by season's end.

Jeremy Hermida had a nice game yesterday. Could
this be the year? I'm guessing fool's gold.

Ty Wigginton should be back any day now, oh he was
added to the DL yesterday.


Streamers: (tomorrow's probable starters available as free agents)

Cliff Lee- needs to tutor Sabathia on how to handle the
A's. 3-1, 2.62/1.25 with 32 k's in 45 frames.

Brian Bannister- has professed a profound love for
children and is extremely excited to be seeing the
Twins tomorrow. 2-0, 2.05/1.00 over 22 innings.
Two reasons for pause. He's only been able to fan
4 in those 22 innings and he's facing Franny the
Uncanny. I have no shame.

Jamie Moyer- animal rights activists are campaigning
for justice as Moyer has consistently mistreated the
Cubs. 2-0, 3.75/1.29 and a respectable 15 k's in 24
innings. Incidently, in a private ceremony held in the
new atrium at Wrigley Field Moyer's jersey was retired
by the Homestead Grays. How long has this guy been
around?


Spotties
: (tomorrow's position players available as free agents)

Cristian Guzman- hopes that Glavine pitches for another
millenium (why not). 5/15, 3 extra base hits including a
bomb. Nice fill in for Reyes, Jeter or Rollins. Even if Jimmy
returns he's 3/31 versus Jason Marquis.

Geoff Jenkins- is unabashed in his fondness for the
aforementioned Marquis. Geoff can already see his
name in emblazoned in lights on the Wrigley Field
Marquis. 10/32, 4 extras with 6 rbi.

Garret Anderson- bedevils Bedard. 6/16 and 6 ribbies.


Start/Sit: (today)

Andre Ethier(start)- size does matter, thoroughly enjoys Young's
length. 6/16 with 3 long balls. Not a pretty picture.

Raul Ibanez (start)- tis' the season against Garland. 18/48 with
2 jacks.

Ken Griffey (start)- another Red with a Snell fetish. 6/11 with a
homer. You can add Encarnacion to Ian's list of admirers(6/17).
Dusty's old school so let's hope that he gets an A in math after
submitting the lineup card.

Justin Verlander (sit) -Zoolander would stand a better chance
today against the Pale Hose. Dye and Thome are a combined
17/44 with 8 home runs.

Paul Konerko (sit) - don't you just love point/counter point. Or
for those of you who are starting Verlander anyway, I offer Led
Zepellin's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" or Paulie boy as a
salve. 3/23 with 8 k's lifetime versus the Tigers ace. Your choice.

Jeff Kent (sit) - Clark's offspring succumbs to Young's kryptonite
offerings. Torre, in drag, as Lois' daughter (from Jimmy Olsen-a
one night stand) can rescue him with a benching. Will he(she) or
won't he(she). That is the question!!! Mixed metaphors work so
well in our game. Superboy is 2/18 versus the evil Padre.


Game Keys: (daily strategy tips)

Streaming, or dropping and adding starting pitchers daily
is a strategy used primarily in Head to Head competition.
It's used to gain an advantage over your opponent in wins
and strikeouts. Normally streamed pitchers are back of
the rotation types so do your homework to minimize the
negative impact this strategy can have on era/whip. Read
the Player's Edge daily.


All Done:

Ryan Braun has batted 40 times without taking a walk.
Ned Yost has him watching vintage Dave Kingman tapes
to correct the problem.

A few days ago during a Cubs broadcast their announcing
crew was defending Pinellas use of Kerry Wood in a hold
situation. They completely understood the "modern"
strategy of using closers at home in the 9th inning of a tied
game because they can no longer gain a save. In fact they
surmised it was darn near brilliant. So you use your closer
in a non-closing situation one day running the risk of getting
him needlessly jacked up so that the next day when an actual
save situation arises you can use set up men to close. Yup,
brilliant!!!!!!

Speaking of announcers. The Rays voices were raised in praise
of B.J. Upton, arguably one of the top 3 sophomores playing
today.They chortled that B.J. idolizes Derek Jeter and played
shortshop early in his career. They thought it was rather ironic
that Upton would have to follow Jeter into the Hall of Fame as
a centerfielder. How presumptuous can you be!!!!!!!!!!! How do
they even know if Jeter will get in.

How about Wang tossing a complete game 2 hitter at the
Red Sox in Fenway. Before we get too giddy it came with
his customary paucity of k's(3). Clearly this is what separates
fantasy from reality. Frankly fantasy is infinitely more pertinent.

1 comment:

Twinman said...

Gardenhire knew it was time to bring Liriano back up, or start looking into thawing the cryogenically preserved Jack Morris.