Fantasy Player's Edge

April 14, 2008


Roster Shuffle:

Closer Barack Obama could not seal the deal
against the "little" people a few days ago. He
essentially called them ignorant and angry.
Manager Howard Dean says Obama could be
designated for assignment. He made a 3am
call to bring up journeywoman Clinton to
fill the role.

No worries, even if you're at the bottom of the
standings. It's only week 3 and with 24 long
weeks ahead there's ample time to right the
ship.

The key to playing this game effectively is
to keep abreast of late breaking news and
last minute lineup changes. By all accounts
B.J. Ryan was to spend a few more days in
the minors returning on or around the 18th.
Ryan was activated by the Blue Jays yesterday
and registered a save. The rhetoric is that
he will not pitch on back to back days. Hang on
to Accardo a bit longer until that's been confirmed
in reality.

If you only have an hour a day to play this game
here's a bit of advise. Try to log on 1 hour before
the bulk of the games begin. As an example, on
Sundays that would be 12 noon EST. Check the
latest news on the wires and starting lineups.
Adjust accordingly.

For what it's Werth, Victorino's replacement went
2/4 with a jack, 2 runs, 2 rbi and 2 steals. Hurry
up!!!

Adrian Beltre has a tight hamstring. Joe Crede,
he of 30 homers a few years ago and 2 grand slams
a few days ago, might make you forget Beltre forever.

Howie Kendrick is hurting again, this time it's a sore
hammy. He's close to be labeled brittle. Hang on a
bit longer.

Eric Bedard was scratched again with an inflammed
hip. C'mon put him on the DL so we can clear a roster
spot!!!

Rich Harden could return by months end. Yippee!!
He's eligible to return on the 18th. Par for the course
with this guy. If he's occupying your DL currently stay
the course until further notice.

A couple of more roster eaters Lackey and Putz threw
yesterday. J.J., perhaps another week, Big John, 3
or 4 weeks.

Manny Parra owners be aware that Yovani Gallardo's
return is imminent. He or Villanueva will be dropped
from the rotation. If Bannister is still available this
might be a good time to roll the dice and swap out
Parra.

Big Papi is 3/43 to open the season. See if his owner
will take Hafner or Morneau. You never know until
you ask.


Streamers: (tomorrow's probable starters available as free agents)

Jair Jurrjens- the first Viking to pitch in the majors
sees the Marlins for the first time. Faces Scott Olsen
who is 1-4, 8.54/1.06 against the Braves. Classic
pillage scenario with Olsen surrendering without
a fight.

Kevin Correia- he has a co-rreia mark of 0-1 but is
a bona fide snake charmer when coaxing a Rattler.
2.95/1.31 and 21 k's in 19 frames with the D'Backs.
Can the Giants win 2 in a row. You're guess is as good
as mine.

Ubaldo Jimenez- Ubaldo, Mebaldo, everybody Baldo!!!
What was his Mom thinking? He'll trim the feeble
Padres. 1-0, 2.08/.69 with 14 k's in 13 innings. If
he's available use him.


Spotties: (tomorrow's position players available as free agents)

Matt Diaz- in keeping with the trash Scott Olsen theme,
Matty the Batty is 7/15 with 5 extra base hits including
3 jacarandas.

Austin Kearns- bats in the Pelfrey going 5/11 with a homer
and 4 rbi against big Mike.

Matt Stairs- ascends the stairway to heaven and then proceeds
to bat the daylights out of Trachsel. 5/12, 1 blast, 3 ribeyes.


Start/Sit: (today)

Kevin Youkilis(start)- he's a scary looking character especially
for Westbrook. 5/8, 4 rbi. He really is frightening.

Hideki Matsui (start)- Godzilla singes Sonnanstine severely.
3/8, 2 homers.

Raul Ibanez(start)- has started the season white hot. Raul
has no alms for the organ Greinke. 5/10 with 3 extras.

Hank Blalock (start)- considers Santana's music "Supernatural"
and his pitching, especially on the road "Superhittable".
8/21 with a pair of big flys and 5 rbi versus Ervin.

Jeff Kent (sit)- again. Start him, sit him, start him, sit him.
By all means bench him. 1/11 against the Duke of Pittsburgh.

Juan Pierre (sit) - frequently denied an audience with the Duke.
3/17 but when invited has a propensity to steal (2).

Ivan Rodriguez (sit)- the butcher, the Baker, the candlestick
maker are all way to perplexing for I-Rod. He's 2/14 against
the Twins hurler.


Game Keys: (daily strategy tips)

Streaming, or dropping and adding starting pitchers
is a strategy used primarily in Head to Head competition.
It's used to gain an advantage over your opponent in wins
and strikeouts. Be prepared to experience pain when employing
a streaming strategy. Normally streamed pitchers are back of
the rotation types so do your homework to minimize the
negative impact this strategy can have on era/whip. Read
the Player's Edge daily.


Musings:

Ryan Braun has now batted 53 times without taking a walk.
Yost has fired the hypnotist and brought an exorcist on board
to treat Ryan's condition. With an off day tomorrow Braun will
be "bled" first to restore his eye. Fielder has complained about
the preferential treatment and will be purged as well in the
morning. A walk and a homer, respectively, have been divined
for Tuesday.

Mark Teahen, went 0/3 against Liriano yesterday. When asked
Teahen offered that Francisco lacked "flash". Mark it was below
freezing and the guy hadn't pitched in a while.

The Reds Rocket Launcher Johnny Cueto had his 1st rough outing
as a pro. He allowed 5 earned over 6 innings while striking out 6 and
allowing 6 whip. This kid's going to be special. A rough outing comes
with a 1:1 k ratio and a 1.00 whip.

"There Will Be Blood" and "Michael Clayton" were optioned back to
Netflix over the weekend. Neither will ever be recalled.

"If you're offended by sexual innuendo or masturbation or sexual
coloring books- if you're offended by any of these, then don't work
here". Bud Selig's confidential memo was sent to all owners and
GM's after a few questioned some of the planned activities at the
winter meetings.

Actually this comment came from Dov Charney, CEO of the
recently gone public American Apparel Inc. This guy raised
millions from Wall Street. Seems to be a good fit.

All Done!

Site Updated 11:30 EST Daily